I was thinking about the cat in the paper box today. How I dreged up that memory I've no idea.
Year ago there were dot matrix printers and these arcaich machines used what was called fan folded paper and feed through the printer either via pressure rollers or by track feeders. If you've no idea what I'm talking about it's ok. Just read on.
Fred (brother) had a worry one day. His printer refused to print! It printed fine in the morning, but now, around 3 pm it wouldn't do anything. No error lights on the front panel, ink ribbon had recently been changed, the strangest thing was that the paper would move only slightly when told to print something.
We looked at it and thought about it for a bit. Replaced the drivers, replaced the ribbon, checked the feed path. Nothing! Everything was in order. No reason in the world this bloody damned thing shouldn't be printing. Yes, we'd got to cussing at that point.
We must have worked on that silly printer for over 3 hours trying to figure out what the problem could possibly be.
Then all became clear with a slight sound of movement and the appearance of a cat's head coming out of the the paper box yawning.
Apparently, we'd disturbed the beast in it's slumber with our tugging on the paper to see why it wouldn't feed up to the printer.
We were relieved, mortified, angry and feeling very, very foolish about the whole deal.
After thinking about this story from my distant past it occured to me that we do a lot of that in our lives.
Something that has worked for us before suddenly stops working. We of course want to fix it and know what happened! We look all over the place for the answers and get more and more frustrated with things the more we try.
This can throw us all out of whack with things. We look and look and then even start blaming others. What a piece of junk! Who sells this thing? There ought to be a law I tell ya! Damned corperations! Who can I shoot? And on and on.
All that anger is actually coming from our fears. Yet we look at those last of all. Did I connect that cable right? Maybe in the last 3 things we tried I forgot something. Did I get a virus? Did I download something bad? Is God punishing me?
There are times. Many times! We need to just relax, realize there is not one thing I can do about this just now. And leave it alone! Give it time and see what comes up. I know that's hard to do. When we see a problem or what we think is a problem it is common to want to fix it.
I'd guess a good bit of the time we need only ask for God and then do nothing and then leave it alone. Allow God to do his thing and fix it for us.
You may think that dealing with a cat in a paper box is something too small to concern God. Yet the more we tried to fix it ourselves the worse we made things for ourselves. More anger, more fustration, more angst over nothing.
But we are spiritual beings temporarily here in the physical world. We're just passing though and learning what we need to in order to grow up one day.
That being the case, why would God be too small or have anything beneath his mighty dignity to resolve for us? He sent his son to be degraded, mocked, tortured and killed. So...what's beneath God? A printer problem? I think not.
He helps us (when we let him) to deal with the real Lessons, not the world. We need to learn the real things from the false and let the world go with God and his will. Pick up the lesson and leave the rest. It doesn't matter.
Only the soul matters in the end.
And if you happen to be one of the few folks who still has a dot matrix printer and it suddenly stops working. Be sure to check the paper box for cats or the like. :)
Be well.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Wow!
Sorry it's been a couple of days. I really wanted to make this a daily thing for myself. Today is not the last day of the week though I rather wish it were. Visited lots of sites this week, had to leave 3 of them at different times for good old VITA "emergencies". Well, that's what folks call them anyway. Mostly I think a lot of folks are just being a bit nervous from the extra pressure.
I'm not sure I understand it really. VITA comes about every year and there always seems to be the same reaction to it. Oh yes, VITA is a free to the public tax program that is government supported. Any one under a 49 thousand income limit can come and get their simple taxes done for free. All that means that I can tell is that folks with midlin income can get help but not folks with stocks, bonds etc.
I always use the EZ form myself and have no worries with it. But then, I don't tend to worry over a lot of things most of the time. Maybe I should, but I just don't seem to have the interest to do so. Lazy bugger I am. :)
All of this minds me of fears. Fear of the government, Fear of not doing the right thing, Fear of unknowingly doing the wrong thing, Fear of loss or disappointment Etc, etc.
Wow! We've got a lot of fears.
I can understand fear, I have a fear of heights. But these other fears seem different to me. They are mostly made up of illusions. We fear things that haven't happened, only that May happen. We borrow worries from nothing and make them important to us. We make a lot of drama for ourselves is the way I see it.
Yet we all know better. When we were kids and got one of our spankings at one point or another I'm sure we were all told "don't cry till you've been hit". And if you've never been spanked than you have my deepest sympathy and concern.
All the little things we learned as kids still apply. How could they not? If I needed to know it when I was 3 then I need to know it now. How can the basic wisdom's change?
It's not them that change, but us. We grow up learning how to fear, and often what to fear. But then, we seldom seem to learn when a fear is real and when it's just the Monster in the closet.
Seems to me most of our fears fall into the category of Monster in the closet. Not oh my God, I might fall off of this thing and break my fool neck!
Maybe this is why most men leads lives of quite desperation?
Just more of my rambling thoughts.
Be well.
I'm not sure I understand it really. VITA comes about every year and there always seems to be the same reaction to it. Oh yes, VITA is a free to the public tax program that is government supported. Any one under a 49 thousand income limit can come and get their simple taxes done for free. All that means that I can tell is that folks with midlin income can get help but not folks with stocks, bonds etc.
I always use the EZ form myself and have no worries with it. But then, I don't tend to worry over a lot of things most of the time. Maybe I should, but I just don't seem to have the interest to do so. Lazy bugger I am. :)
All of this minds me of fears. Fear of the government, Fear of not doing the right thing, Fear of unknowingly doing the wrong thing, Fear of loss or disappointment Etc, etc.
Wow! We've got a lot of fears.
I can understand fear, I have a fear of heights. But these other fears seem different to me. They are mostly made up of illusions. We fear things that haven't happened, only that May happen. We borrow worries from nothing and make them important to us. We make a lot of drama for ourselves is the way I see it.
Yet we all know better. When we were kids and got one of our spankings at one point or another I'm sure we were all told "don't cry till you've been hit". And if you've never been spanked than you have my deepest sympathy and concern.
All the little things we learned as kids still apply. How could they not? If I needed to know it when I was 3 then I need to know it now. How can the basic wisdom's change?
It's not them that change, but us. We grow up learning how to fear, and often what to fear. But then, we seldom seem to learn when a fear is real and when it's just the Monster in the closet.
Seems to me most of our fears fall into the category of Monster in the closet. Not oh my God, I might fall off of this thing and break my fool neck!
Maybe this is why most men leads lives of quite desperation?
Just more of my rambling thoughts.
Be well.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Well, it's not that tomorrow. But I still have some thoughts.
God is love I hear folks say. Yes, I think he is. We in our true form are just as he is when we drop away the sillyness we've created. Why do we create the silliness? Fear I think.
Someone famous once wrote that most men lead lives of quite desperation. That rings true to me. But we have no need to do so. If our God is a God of love, then why in the world would we be driven to anything like desperation?
God created us in his image...his image. A creative being that created us would have made us like himself...so...we create as he does. This makes sense to me.
Why did God create us? I thought for a long time that perhaps for all of her perfection that we were created/are created from a lonelness. That God created us to in time grow up and be with him so he could be with us.
Now I'm wondering...Maybe it's simply in the nature of God to create. If so, how could he not create? And if he creates then we must do so also.
I think that we must create just as God does. Though it seems rather obvious that we do not realize and seldom appreciate our creations. We make our lives, but many of us don't like our lives or at least aspects of them.
But if we create......no reason we can't change our creations either. So...how to use this?
Prayer. Meditation. Possibilities becoming probabilities and then actualities. This I learned from meditation. As the Bible tells us. Pray as if what you pray for already is and believe. That is paraphrased of course.
Leave the mind that is filled with the inner voices of fear and doubt and "I can't". When the few times I've moved beyond that I've found that I can find my Soul.
I was a glorified security garud. And moved into computers. Not what one would find a so called natural transition eh? How? Prayer and meditation. I wanted it, I thought about it (all the time). I also had to do a bit of study. But I'm not certified in anything with computers. And lots the world thought says you can't be in computers without either a degree or a certification.
Then I prayed about it, often! I meditated and visualized it (another subject). I prayed seeing my prayer already answered and with the salery I desired at the time. It became real for me in time...yes, it did take a bit, and I had more learning to do. But it did work!
As near as I can tell Prayer always does work. But we have to modify our thinking to allow what we wish in order for it to work. Or maybe not our thinking...our soul? Our mind? Not sure on that, but something changes in us.
Our life is a prayer. It's a way of being and living that creates our lives. And this we can always change.
For instance. We ask faithfully on Sunday for Ice Cream. But all week long we Want ice cream and do nothing about it. Now we blame God for not giving us Ice Cream? We say in our minds I don't deserve it, we say to ourselves we are not worthy of it, we say it's not possible.
So what is God thinking? "Ok! Ice Cream it is.....er...ok...not? You don't want it then? Ummm...you seem a bit confused my child. I'll wait till you make up your mind."
We, or at least I, was taught that prayer was just something you did on Sundays or when you were in seriously deep shit.
God was not someone you asked questions of or questioned at all. So you prayed only to thank him for...well...something. Even if life was sucking for you at the time your were still supposed to pray and thank him. Maybe that's one of the reason's I started getting pissed off. How can you thank someone who's done nothing for you? And then do so on a regular basis? Human nature does not allow for such an attitude.
Ok..back to prayer. I've found a few things that seem to work.
1) do it in faith! Believe that your prayer will be answered. (see the possibility)
2) Really BELIEVE it. See it as a possibility in your own mind. No matter how far off it seems, do it! (See the probability of it)
3) Thank God for it! Really! Since you've already created it in your mind and know it is a reality not seen yet, why would you not be thankful for it's fulfillment? (Be thankful.)
And do it again and again and again until it is in your life.
You can do it with small things as well. Finding a place to park for instance, (see it, know it's there awaiting you.) Do it. It will be waiting for you to be there.
I say "do it" a lot it seems. Maybe I'm thinking like the short green dude Yoda.
"Do not try, do, or do not, there is no try."
Be well.
Someone famous once wrote that most men lead lives of quite desperation. That rings true to me. But we have no need to do so. If our God is a God of love, then why in the world would we be driven to anything like desperation?
God created us in his image...his image. A creative being that created us would have made us like himself...so...we create as he does. This makes sense to me.
Why did God create us? I thought for a long time that perhaps for all of her perfection that we were created/are created from a lonelness. That God created us to in time grow up and be with him so he could be with us.
Now I'm wondering...Maybe it's simply in the nature of God to create. If so, how could he not create? And if he creates then we must do so also.
I think that we must create just as God does. Though it seems rather obvious that we do not realize and seldom appreciate our creations. We make our lives, but many of us don't like our lives or at least aspects of them.
But if we create......no reason we can't change our creations either. So...how to use this?
Prayer. Meditation. Possibilities becoming probabilities and then actualities. This I learned from meditation. As the Bible tells us. Pray as if what you pray for already is and believe. That is paraphrased of course.
Leave the mind that is filled with the inner voices of fear and doubt and "I can't". When the few times I've moved beyond that I've found that I can find my Soul.
I was a glorified security garud. And moved into computers. Not what one would find a so called natural transition eh? How? Prayer and meditation. I wanted it, I thought about it (all the time). I also had to do a bit of study. But I'm not certified in anything with computers. And lots the world thought says you can't be in computers without either a degree or a certification.
Then I prayed about it, often! I meditated and visualized it (another subject). I prayed seeing my prayer already answered and with the salery I desired at the time. It became real for me in time...yes, it did take a bit, and I had more learning to do. But it did work!
As near as I can tell Prayer always does work. But we have to modify our thinking to allow what we wish in order for it to work. Or maybe not our thinking...our soul? Our mind? Not sure on that, but something changes in us.
Our life is a prayer. It's a way of being and living that creates our lives. And this we can always change.
For instance. We ask faithfully on Sunday for Ice Cream. But all week long we Want ice cream and do nothing about it. Now we blame God for not giving us Ice Cream? We say in our minds I don't deserve it, we say to ourselves we are not worthy of it, we say it's not possible.
So what is God thinking? "Ok! Ice Cream it is.....er...ok...not? You don't want it then? Ummm...you seem a bit confused my child. I'll wait till you make up your mind."
We, or at least I, was taught that prayer was just something you did on Sundays or when you were in seriously deep shit.
God was not someone you asked questions of or questioned at all. So you prayed only to thank him for...well...something. Even if life was sucking for you at the time your were still supposed to pray and thank him. Maybe that's one of the reason's I started getting pissed off. How can you thank someone who's done nothing for you? And then do so on a regular basis? Human nature does not allow for such an attitude.
Ok..back to prayer. I've found a few things that seem to work.
1) do it in faith! Believe that your prayer will be answered. (see the possibility)
2) Really BELIEVE it. See it as a possibility in your own mind. No matter how far off it seems, do it! (See the probability of it)
3) Thank God for it! Really! Since you've already created it in your mind and know it is a reality not seen yet, why would you not be thankful for it's fulfillment? (Be thankful.)
And do it again and again and again until it is in your life.
You can do it with small things as well. Finding a place to park for instance, (see it, know it's there awaiting you.) Do it. It will be waiting for you to be there.
I say "do it" a lot it seems. Maybe I'm thinking like the short green dude Yoda.
"Do not try, do, or do not, there is no try."
Be well.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Who is this God fellow folks talk about? Cont
So, I was pissed at God. Mostly likely blasphemous or at the least heretical. But we feel what we feel when we're being honest about things.
Seems at various times in my life I've been pissed at God, cussed him out. Even called him out. Though what I'd do if he were to take up the gauntlet I have no idea. I've actually found the freedom to be angry with God quite a balm for things. I found that it's ok to do so. I'm not certain he understands anger in the way we do and it surely never seems of have bothered him in the least. So? Who better to vent at than someone who doesn't get offended is always patient and who doesn't get drawn into your own little dramas?
He's certainly big enough to take it.
As I grew up I found that it was quite helpful and in my own albeit strange way as it was something that connected me to God.
You don't get made at a rock. It's just a rock. You only can get a really good mad on at a person. So I discovered that God was a person. A person I could talk to. So after a time instead of blaming him I just started talking to him (I have no idea what actual sex God is. I rather think God does not have a sex as a human would think of it. But it's easier to call God a him from my internal referance points.)
The more I talked to God the more interested I became in how we talk to God. I figured there had to be a better way than yelling at the sky.
Then I moved to FL when I was 15/16 or so from MD where I lived with my Mother and Brother. I moved down to live in my Father's house and with his family. I quickly saw some things that changed the very basis for my earlier mistaken anger with God.
I saw a man who was happy, truly and abidingly happy with his life, his wife and his family. He'd married a wonderful woman Virginia or Ginny as he most often calls her. I seldom knew just what to say to her. It was so very obvious that she made my Dad happy and he made her happy. But what was I to her or her to me? What where we supposed to be to one another? I had no idea? Mom? Mom II? Mom Alt? Virginia? Not Ginny! That would have been a bit too weird for me. Mostly I avoided calling her by name when possible. Years later I settled on Mom. I think it only took me about another 20 years to come up with that bit of brilliance.
And I could see they were fitted for one another. Their children also were amazing to me. They were all well loved, well cared for and happy.
So...then I had to get to thinking again. Why didn't God bring my Father back? It dawned on me that maybe some of the other things I'd heard about God were true and not just the big spy who was lurking in the bushes waiting to judge me and send me to hell.
Could it be? There surely looked like there was some sort of plan involved here. Some bigger picture that I'd not seen before? Was that possible? Could God be that smart?
I don't know....I was a Teenager after all, not some kid! LOL
I eventually concluded that there had to be a plan involved here that I'd just not seen. I choose to leave it at that. Because obviously it should have been cleared with Me first. But I'd be magnanimous and let God slide this time.
Now I had more information to process. God is a person and makes plans (very big long term plans.) So, what to do with this information? Study him and his ways I decided. Find out just how and where this person would fit into my life.
More meandering thoughts tomorrow.
Be well.
Seems at various times in my life I've been pissed at God, cussed him out. Even called him out. Though what I'd do if he were to take up the gauntlet I have no idea. I've actually found the freedom to be angry with God quite a balm for things. I found that it's ok to do so. I'm not certain he understands anger in the way we do and it surely never seems of have bothered him in the least. So? Who better to vent at than someone who doesn't get offended is always patient and who doesn't get drawn into your own little dramas?
He's certainly big enough to take it.
As I grew up I found that it was quite helpful and in my own albeit strange way as it was something that connected me to God.
You don't get made at a rock. It's just a rock. You only can get a really good mad on at a person. So I discovered that God was a person. A person I could talk to. So after a time instead of blaming him I just started talking to him (I have no idea what actual sex God is. I rather think God does not have a sex as a human would think of it. But it's easier to call God a him from my internal referance points.)
The more I talked to God the more interested I became in how we talk to God. I figured there had to be a better way than yelling at the sky.
Then I moved to FL when I was 15/16 or so from MD where I lived with my Mother and Brother. I moved down to live in my Father's house and with his family. I quickly saw some things that changed the very basis for my earlier mistaken anger with God.
I saw a man who was happy, truly and abidingly happy with his life, his wife and his family. He'd married a wonderful woman Virginia or Ginny as he most often calls her. I seldom knew just what to say to her. It was so very obvious that she made my Dad happy and he made her happy. But what was I to her or her to me? What where we supposed to be to one another? I had no idea? Mom? Mom II? Mom Alt? Virginia? Not Ginny! That would have been a bit too weird for me. Mostly I avoided calling her by name when possible. Years later I settled on Mom. I think it only took me about another 20 years to come up with that bit of brilliance.
And I could see they were fitted for one another. Their children also were amazing to me. They were all well loved, well cared for and happy.
So...then I had to get to thinking again. Why didn't God bring my Father back? It dawned on me that maybe some of the other things I'd heard about God were true and not just the big spy who was lurking in the bushes waiting to judge me and send me to hell.
Could it be? There surely looked like there was some sort of plan involved here. Some bigger picture that I'd not seen before? Was that possible? Could God be that smart?
I don't know....I was a Teenager after all, not some kid! LOL
I eventually concluded that there had to be a plan involved here that I'd just not seen. I choose to leave it at that. Because obviously it should have been cleared with Me first. But I'd be magnanimous and let God slide this time.
Now I had more information to process. God is a person and makes plans (very big long term plans.) So, what to do with this information? Study him and his ways I decided. Find out just how and where this person would fit into my life.
More meandering thoughts tomorrow.
Be well.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Who is this God fellow folks talk about?
I wondered that for a long time. He or It is all knowing, all seeing, always present. And I'm told he'll send me into the pit if I don't do what he wants.
Sort of sounds like Santa Clause without the cheerful disposition doesn't he?
Now why is he spying on me? Watching everything I do, even invading my thoughts! And he's everywhere so I have no possibility of evasion or escape from him. And then, after all this spying he’s going to judge me and send me to hell?
Geez! What a grouch! I’ve never done a thing to him! Or have I?
I’m told that “We” the collective we of mankind sort of beat the living hell out of his son and then strung him out to dry like a piece of beef jerky. But as I recall he won that round as well. Christ rose from the dead and then got a free ride into the sky and home.
I can’t say I’ve ever felt particularly guilty over the whole thing in any sort of personal way. So why all this spying and judgment and sending me to hell? That, I’d have to say I do rather take a bit personally.
Oh, I see I forgot one of the ALLS up top there. He’s All powerful as well. What sort of a fair deal is this?
I didn’t always have all those suspicions about God. It started when I was young. My parents got divorced and I prayed to someone I thought I could trust was on my side that my Father would return and I could go back to doing what I wanted to do. I can’t say what it was I used to do as I was a kid, And a kids mind jumps all over the place, all the time.
Side note: when your talking to a young child and ask them something along the lines of “Why did you?....What were you thinking?....” trust me. While they are looking at the floor they are thinking furiously and still give you the honest answer. “I don’t know”. They really don’t. It’s just the way kids are.
At any rate. I decided that if God wasn’t going to come through for me I’d just pout and stay mad at him for LIFE! That too is the way kids are. J
Tomorrow’s gripping, or griping installment continues depending on how you look at things.
Be well.
Sort of sounds like Santa Clause without the cheerful disposition doesn't he?
Now why is he spying on me? Watching everything I do, even invading my thoughts! And he's everywhere so I have no possibility of evasion or escape from him. And then, after all this spying he’s going to judge me and send me to hell?
Geez! What a grouch! I’ve never done a thing to him! Or have I?
I’m told that “We” the collective we of mankind sort of beat the living hell out of his son and then strung him out to dry like a piece of beef jerky. But as I recall he won that round as well. Christ rose from the dead and then got a free ride into the sky and home.
I can’t say I’ve ever felt particularly guilty over the whole thing in any sort of personal way. So why all this spying and judgment and sending me to hell? That, I’d have to say I do rather take a bit personally.
Oh, I see I forgot one of the ALLS up top there. He’s All powerful as well. What sort of a fair deal is this?
I didn’t always have all those suspicions about God. It started when I was young. My parents got divorced and I prayed to someone I thought I could trust was on my side that my Father would return and I could go back to doing what I wanted to do. I can’t say what it was I used to do as I was a kid, And a kids mind jumps all over the place, all the time.
Side note: when your talking to a young child and ask them something along the lines of “Why did you?....What were you thinking?....” trust me. While they are looking at the floor they are thinking furiously and still give you the honest answer. “I don’t know”. They really don’t. It’s just the way kids are.
At any rate. I decided that if God wasn’t going to come through for me I’d just pout and stay mad at him for LIFE! That too is the way kids are. J
Tomorrow’s gripping, or griping installment continues depending on how you look at things.
Be well.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
A day in the life
This was a fairly typical day for me. I started at Pasadena Sr. Center
It was also the start of the new semester and there were issues with the class room. 2 students USB drives could not be written to. Taking the drives to another workstation I backed up formatted and then replaced the data files, about an hour of this. Another instructor from a different center stopped by and wanted a HD formatted and have XP installed on it. So.. I put the drive in a spare workstation formatted and installed Win XP.
While these things are going on I got a call from K asking how to access one of the VITA laptops from O'Malley. From O'Malley? O'Malley doesn't have any VITA laptops this year. They are using all standard workstations???? Now I'm all sorts of confused. A completely normal situation for me. G
But, I got it all done. Well, accept for the one thing I was expecting to do today which was to show Kay about installed the software we can't find.
It seems a fair number of my days end up along these same lines.
Well, if nothing else it allows me to enhance my skills in practicing patience.
Oh! Found Samosa's at Giant today! Oh wondrous food of the heavens! I usually can only find them at a fewIndia
The URL is http://www.amys.com/index.php
It was also the start of the new semester and there were issues with the class room. 2 students USB drives could not be written to. Taking the drives to another workstation I backed up formatted and then replaced the data files, about an hour of this. Another instructor from a different center stopped by and wanted a HD formatted and have XP installed on it. So.. I put the drive in a spare workstation formatted and installed Win XP.
While these things are going on I got a call from K asking how to access one of the VITA laptops from O'Malley. From O'Malley? O'Malley doesn't have any VITA laptops this year. They are using all standard workstations???? Now I'm all sorts of confused. A completely normal situation for me. G
But, I got it all done. Well, accept for the one thing I was expecting to do today which was to show Kay about installed the software we can't find.
It seems a fair number of my days end up along these same lines.
Well, if nothing else it allows me to enhance my skills in practicing patience.
Oh! Found Samosa's at Giant today! Oh wondrous food of the heavens! I usually can only find them at a few
The URL is http://www.amys.com/index.php
Monday, January 11, 2010
Mondays
Well, back to work today. Bit of a slow start. I still want to be on vacation down in FL with my family. I had such a wonderful time re-getting to know them. As we go along you may note that I'm rather inordinately proud of all my family members. A truly remarkable group of folks.
Not much doing today with work. Installed 3 systems for some new users. Unfortunately I arrived at the same time as the cabling folks. So while the systems are there they are useless until I can get them a connection.
The guys told me they'd be done maybe tomorrow. I'm going to give it till Thurs and be there as the staff is coming in so I can find out about any special software or configurations they my want.
Oh well, more tomorrow if I remember.
Be well,
John.
Not much doing today with work. Installed 3 systems for some new users. Unfortunately I arrived at the same time as the cabling folks. So while the systems are there they are useless until I can get them a connection.
The guys told me they'd be done maybe tomorrow. I'm going to give it till Thurs and be there as the staff is coming in so I can find out about any special software or configurations they my want.
Oh well, more tomorrow if I remember.
Be well,
John.
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