Ok...been a bit hasn't it? 

Just to update anyone who's listening.  A few month ago I was in a car accident. (first time in my life).  For me it's been a rather life changing experience.  Oddly enough one of my sister's has apparently been in a number of car accidents and has walked away relatively unscathed.

Odd how things work out. 

Of late I've been very focused on this world and my own body and how things are working with it.  But, I'm thinking I should not be.  After all, I am Not a body.  I am a soul who happens in this moment in time to Have a body. 

World says this is important.  But this broken thing is not Me!  Matter of fact it is one of the smallest parts of ME.  It should be of no importance at all.  Yet my ego tells me it is, that it matters how I look, walk, talk and all the rest of it.

The world is lying to me.

God cares nothing of how I look!  (saving my soul, My Self!)  That is his concern!  Walking with You is also.  My Lord's concern.  This world, with all of it's selfishness, bitterness and lack luster will is a nothing. 

YOU on the other hand.  Are His treasure!  He will leave the rest of the flock with the only purpose to seek You out! 

For any kids watching, That is Respect!.  

We should all treat it as such.

Just my thoughts.

John.

How does the soul resemble Light?

How does the soul resemble Light?

Light feeds on light. 

In the day time outdoor light is always brighter than indoor light. 

At night we turn on more lights to see our way.

God seems to be the same in a lot of ways.  We need to let God into All parts of our lives.  We tend, or I tend to let God into only the parts of my life that I need help with at the moment.

Right now I'm letting God into the part of my life that involves work and getting a job.  But I've noticed I'm not letting him into my social or love life or my relationship with my brother Fred. 

Why not?  I have a need of friends in this new town.  It would be nice to have a girl friend or just more friends outside of the family and what not as well.  After all, in bodies we are designed to be social critters. 

I am told "I can do All things through Christ who strengthens me."  I've seen his power and will in action many times.  So why not give it All over to Him?

I've also noticed that I tend to go to God when things are hard for me.  But, when things start going my way...I want to grab back the reins of the wagon.  It goes off course and then I'm back to asking Him for help. 

Geez, how dumb am I?  Seems I still need some heavy duty training to work my way up to being an idiot.  Then maybe I can graduate to the status of moron. 

I take great comfort from the fact that the whole lot of you other folks in bodies deal with the same sort of thoughts.

In this again even though it doesn’t sound like it on the surface of the thought.  God comforts me with it.

Misery loves company maybe?  Or is that my ego/body talking?  Hard to tell at times.  Which is the thought of God?  And which is the thought of the world?

God’s thought would be a loving one.  So thinking I want you in this same quandary is a thought of the world I think.

The Lord would not have me bring my brother to a darker place when they already have more than enough to deal with.

Ok, enough.  I’m done for now.

Just my thoughts.

John.

Just random thoughts. God is not a hardass.

I was talking with my Dad the other day.  We have great talks!  About jobs and God and family and religion and politics and well...any and everything.

He reminded me of a verse I've held near and dear to my heart for many years now.  I think it's in Luke somewhere or other.  "We live and move and have our being in God." or words to that effect.

We live in God, he lives in us as well.  We are not separate in anyway.   This is how he knows your mind and your heart.  Scary huh?  God knows what I'm thinking...you mean like...all the time?  Oh crap!  I'm sorry for this God and I'm sorry for that and...Oh! Damn.  I'm really sorry for That one.  Oh and for the "Damn".

No worries!  While he does know your heart and mind he also knows why you think the way you do.  He's the ultimate psychologist or psychiatrist (please excuse spelling errors) you could ever find.  So you can in peace bring all of your worries to him with out fear of any retribution. 

God will judge all in the end.  But hey!  We are in training here.  This is not The Judgment!  This is the warm up period.  The training area, the classroom.  We're in 5th grade here.  Not College. 

Good thing as I never graduated from College. :)

I guess what I'm trying to say with all this is that God understands.  He understands our fears, our hates, our loves, our lusts, our hurts our pains, our triumphs and our failures.  But as any proud parent.  He forgets our failures and remembers our triumphs.  So should we. 

We are charged to live as Christ did.  Are we not?  So, you forgive yourself and others for "sins".  Sin is in small type for a reason.  God does not see sin.  He sees YOU as a whole.  A single perfect being which He has created.   And as any father.  He sees his kids fall down when they are learning to walk.  Then he helps them up. 

And he most assuredly does not give them stones instead of bread DAD!  Though, at times he might want to throw stones at them. :)

And God helps.  Always!  We don't always see it, or when we do we often see it in the darkness and fear it.  But soon or late, if we are looking.  We see the connections the Lord has already created in our paths. 

God is unlike anything that we see in this world.  We can't know His mind, but he surely knows ours.

So always expect the best to HA! to "Just happen" in your life.  There are No coincidences.  We are always being prepared for the next thing. 

Be well all.

jmcowart1@gmail.com

Abanoden.

I left Fred in a parking lot of our old Apt building.  I told him to either sell the silver he'd stolen from me the last week or to sell one of the firearms he'd stolen from me in the weeks or months before and take them and sell them.

He had no response.

I feel responsible for Abandoning My Brother!  Or I did.  

Then...after months I realized he had also Abandoned me!  There is no reason to morne his loss.  No reason to seek him out.

He will do what he chooses to do.  Whatever that may be.  It is NOT my responsibility as to what happens one way or another.  Fred will do what Fred chooses to do. 

I've already called, written, everything I can do to contact him.  He has not responded.  Makes me a wee bit sad.  But this also is His choice.  And therefore His responsibility.  If I abandon my brother, than he abandon Me at the same time or months before.  I am at peace with this.

We are not to attach to anything or anyone of This world from what I hear.  Hard thing to do.  But it is a doable thing. 

You are NOT a victim in anyway! 

When you hear "God is with us".  Believe it!  It's absolutely true!  Don't hide your self from it, deny it, think it is not You.  This IS you! 

I'd go on, but I'm a bit tired and should get on with going to bed.  Think of the thoughts I've posted and their implementations perhaps.  if you do that will hold you... 

Ch, Cha, Changes.

Opening lyrics to a song someone or other sang.  Beach Boys maybe?  I've no idea.  Yet it's been stuck in my head for a week now.

Ok.  I'm now in Jacksonville, FL.  It's been wonderful so far. 

I've had folks coming by with pots and pans and coffee makers and bed clothes.  I've gone off shopping with one of my sisters for interview clothes, found 2 suits and a bunch of shirts (one of them a sort of light purple).  J and T say it will bring on girls.  I'm rather doubtfull.  But hey!  If something works, it works right?

I also wonder why they think I need the help.  I'm no Robert Redford, but I've not exactly scared dogs and small children either.  Ok...not often anyway.

The Lord already sent me the right girl.  Just not in the right place for us to be together.  That will of course change.  I will go there to Cal or she will end up here in FL.  Or we will come to know others.  His plan is always perfect.  Even if I just stay alone, it's still perfect.  Heck, I'm happy as I am now anyway.

It is wonderful being here with my family.  I do wish my brother F would wake up and see what is before him.  But he does not seem to have heard the voice as yet.  No worries.  All of his choices will still lead him home.

I'm setting in here and getting used to things.  Other than the heat that I'm not used to, everything has been great. 

H and D brought me some pans the other day along with sheets and a "Coffee Pot"!  May God bless them for their gift!  Coffee!  The Staff of Life!

J has given my a comforter, CFL bulbs for my lights, a container for my grits and other wonderful things to get a place started.

My father has given me a wonderful office chair along with orange and milk crates to make a book shelf.

E gave me a microwave!  How much value can one give such a gift of love?

It's wondrous to me to have so much support surround me with help.  Nothing I've ever experienced in my life has been like this.  Amazing how caring and loving and supportive people can be. 

I've had folks do things for me before.  Great things.  But from my family?  I've known forever that my family takes care of folks in general and family specific.  I'm just now experiancing it in the specific and I'm Wowed!



It's amazing to me how much a family can help and support you indirectly as well.  My Sister T and I had a bit of a talk today and between her and J, I've easily maintain my perspective of what is and is not in this world.

My love to you all,

HUGS

Johnny.

PROUD!

My younger sister Jenn saved a life earlier this week.  She's an RN. 

As I hear it an older woman fell out while visiting and Jenn flew in and proceeded to rescue her.

Jenn is an incredible woman.  Smart, talented, loving and beautiful.  Ok, so she's one of my sisters...I may be just a wee bit prejudice in her favor. 

Still, CPR and whatever else she may have done is something to be acknowledged!

Jenn, you are magnificent Luv!  Love you!

HUGS

Johnny.

Moving is a pain in the b*****************************************************s

Ok, I've been busy packing.  Seems I've been doing lots of packing and packing and packing.  I don't even want to think about how it's going to be getting the various companies to turn off water and power and the internet and what else?  Gas, although that might be part of electric I think

On the up side, the place I am moving into is far less rent and all the utilities are included in the rent.   And I've a good many jobs to look over in FL.  As well as the support system of my family.

Life is good now and will be even better!

I'm a bit sad to leave my friends here in MD.  I've already gotten many expressions of loss from folks at work and even a card saying how sorry they are to loose me from their lives.

Got to say, at least some of that is the worry they won't have anyone to fix their computers and not some sort of deeply personal loss.   No worries, who really worries about when their favored store clerk leaves the business?  

I've seen it before.  The comments of "I sure wish ______was here.".  But they fade soon enough when who ever takes over gets to know them and they get to know them.

Sort of like changing schools.

For myself I will carry them in my heart for all my life.  But even at that, I too will over time forget to think of them as individuals.  I'll remember a happy time in my life and remember a few of them vividly.

Funny how the mind works.  We only really remember the high points of our lives.  The first kiss, the first time we had sex, the first car, etc.  We tend to forget the hard times for the most part.

Personally, I think that's God helping us out and being in his nature, he of course only sees the good in all things.

Be well All,

John.
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